Journey back home

As hard as it is for me to believe, my high school graduation class will hold it's fiftieth anniversary this coming August.
As much as it would be out of character for me to attend. I am actually entertaining thoughts of making a cameo appearance. I base this uncharacteristic thought on a couple of things. The first is the relating of my childhood experiences has seemed to mellow me some what. The second is just curiosity, for I have not seen any of my old class mates in years.
Now I have always been the type of person who avoided camera's and mirrors. The reason being I was always disappointed when I got to view my image. The reason for this of course was a lack of self confidence. On the other hand, the majority of my class mates would fall all over them selves when ever they saw a camera. And few could resist the opportunity to preen in front of a mirror.Of course all the preening and camera mugging was just an attempt to fit in.
As far as academics went, I was a mediocre student at best. So fitting nicely with my inferiority complex ,was the feeling that the majority of my classmates were a hell of a lot smarter than I. However over the years I have learned first hand that good study habits and common sense, very rarely go hand and hand. Some of the most educated people I know are as dumb as a door knob.
Marring money, winning the lottery or inheriting, does not make you successful. Just very fortunate. So it will be interesting to see how many are still pretenders, and how many have accepted their lot.
I really doubt that the majority of people were any different then I was. Peer pressure and all that goes with it makes the high school years a sweet and sour proposition.
So when push comes to shove, I will again be a no show. So many times over the years I have vowed I would attend functions, visit with family or be more social in general. With the end result being, I end up alone, feeling as though I was missing something. But that's me, and try as I may it's just my nature.
As nostalgic as I get, I hate to go back to my old haunts. I am a person who hates change. I would much rather remember the small town atmosphire of my youth. Today those areas just seem like extensions of Boston.